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Written by Scott Woodley | 05 November 2009

What's True for You?

As children, we learn to believe certain things about ourselves, others, and the world based on what authority figures tell us and the stories we tell ourselves. For example, if you ever had a parent or teacher angrily say to you “You’re a bad boy (or girl), or You’re wrong!”, instead of understanding this to mean that you behavior did not please them, you may interpret this to mean that “I am bad, I am wrong.” Other painful core beliefs include I’m unloved, I’m unlovable, People can’t be trusted, Money doesn’t grow on trees (resources are scarce), Women are inferior, Life is a struggle, etc.

These beliefs become internalized and color all of our perceptions and actions. For example, if you subconsciously believe that Life is a struggle, you will focus on struggle, see struggle, and struggle in your life. Certain core beliefs are often passed down through generations and become firmly established in families and entire cultures. If we never question these beliefs, we will act out of them during our whole lives and live much smaller than our possibilities.

In my own life, I can still see the head nun of my grade school shaking her finger at me in anger, the spit coming out of the corner of her mouth and yelling, “you’re a bad boy.” These beliefs were reinforced when I was taught the concept of original sin and every time I had to go to confession. “I’m a sinner, I’m unworthy, I’m a bad person.” When I unintentionally act in ways that create suffering, the script gets triggered automatically. Since I’m a ‘grown up’ now and the nuns are long gone, it’s up to me as an adult to work with the ‘inner child’ who still believes those things.

I’ve found a way to work with these limiting beliefs that is simple and powerful. It is similar to ‘The Work’ of Byron Katie. Since we have held many of these beliefs for most of our lives, it may take conscious effort over time to dislodge them from your psyche and replace them with more accurate and expansive beliefs. The good news is that the more you practice, the faster, easier, and more automatic positive change becomes.

Whenever you’re feeling badly, you can use that moment as an opportunity to question your beliefs and turn them around.

Method – Go slowly with this process, one step at a time until it feels complete. Breathe deeply and get curious about the uncomfortable feelings. Allow them to be there just as they are, as best you can. Then, listen for the thoughts that go with them (e.g., I’m bad, worthless, unloved, unlovable. People are mean to me. I’m all alone in the world. Life is a struggle, etc). See in your mind’s eye the child you were that adopted that belief. About how old was (s)he?

Then question that belief.

Say, “This part of me believes (s)he is a bad person, is unlovable.

Is that really true?

Can I know for sure that it’s true?

How do I live my life when I believe that?

What if it isn’t true? What if I were told or believed something that just wasn’t true?

Who would I be now if that weren’t true?

How would I be if that weren’t true?”

Repeat these questions over and over again until you feel the freedom of release from those limited and painful beliefs.

Then ask questions similar to the following:

What if the truth is that I am a unique manifestation of Source energy, that I am unique Love, Beauty, Magnificence?

How would I live my life if this were true?

What if I’m like the light that shines through a light bulb. I’m not the bulb or the filament, but the light itself. What if that were true?

What if it’s true that I am a beautiful precious eternal expression of Life, of Love, and that my darkness and pain is simply lack of knowledge of this truth?

What if it’s true that I’m really an angel who’s sleepwalking?

Turn each painful belief around to see how it feels to believe the opposite.

For example, if the negative core belief is that I’m worthless, bad, and unlovable, you could try:

I am a beautiful unique manifestation of eternal Source Energy, of Love.

I’m not asking you to believe any of these things. I’m only inviting you to question the unexamined beliefs you have been carrying around for most of your life and see what’s really true for you. How do you live your life when you believe and perceive that you are less than magnificence? How would you live your life believing in your (and everyone else’s) greatness?

Given that we may never prove the truth of either perspective one way or the other, what perspective do you choose now? What changes for you when you see through one perspective or the other?

Byron Katie would say that painful feelings are just a signal that we are believing a lie. I don’t know if that’s true or not. I do know that when I question the assumptions and beliefs that I’ve been carrying around with me over a lifetime and turn them around, I experience more joy, happiness, and freedom than I’ve ever known before.

I invite you to question your unexamined beliefs and see what’s really true for you.

Peace and Blessings,

Written by Scott Woodley | 01 September 2009

What's Your Life Purpose?

Four years ago today, my life changed forever. In one instant, the old life I had worked so hard to create was shattered and the task of rising from the broken rubble and creating a new one lay waiting for me. Curiously, deep feelings of sadness and relief were present in the same moment. Beneath all the chaos and confusion of that time, there was a deep whisper, a silent knowing that I had been working too hard to create a life that wasn't truly mine. I had been struggling to be who I thought others wanted me to be, to win the approval of others, to receive the their acknowledgement and praise. In an ironic twist of fate, not only were the material aspects of my life taken away, but the self-image I worked so desperately to uphold was shattered as well. Even worse, the truth of the situation was distorted and mangled beyond all recognition. Some would say that a lot what happened was unfair and unjust. I say that when you argue with reality, you suffer.

Since then, I've realized that such happenings contain the opportunity to discover who you really are, what core values you want to honor in this life, who you want to be, and what you want to create. Looking back now, I realize that many people get lost in the noise and distraction of life, of too much information wanting their attention, of grasping for things that aren't really important to them, and getting lost in ideas that aren't resonant with who they really are deep inside. Hopefully, it won't take a cataclysmic event to get you to stop and consider the above questions, to consciously design the life you really want and to live into that every day. Worst of all would be to come to the end of your life and realize you didn't live the one you really wanted, the one that was meant for you, your heart and soul's deepest desire.

As daunting as it may seem to explore who you want to be and what you want to create in this life, it's the hero's journey that makes the difference between a life of mere survival or half-hearted existence vs. one that is consciously and courageously created. As the saying on my T-shirt goes, "I do not intend to tip-toe through life only to arrive safely at death." How much are you caught up in survival and existence vs. consciously creating the life you really want? Here's a place to start creating consciously.

What are your three most important goals in life? Are you willing to say them out loud to whomever will listen? Would these change depending upon who you are talking to? How well are you honoring them in your daily life? What are you willing to commit to every day/ every week in order to live what's truly important to you? What's the cost of not doing this?

Skipping over these questions to get to the next thing on your To Do list means that you've chosen one more time to get lost in the doing of your life, one more day of getting sucked up in the chaos of everything vying for your attention. The voice in your head that says, "Yes, but I can't because have to..." is more of the same noise that will keep you from living authentically. When you consciously design your life, when you write down what's most important to you and have a written plan to create that in your life, you begin to shift from being a passive passenger in your life to taking command and designing the life you really want.

I challenge you to schedule time right now in your calendar to write down what you really want for your life and create a written plan to achieve it. Having a partner or life coach to support, encourage, challenge, and hold you accountable will make it a lot easier.

For more help or for a free tool to help you consciously create your ideal life, download the PersonalLifeWheel.pdf document on my website, www.ForemostLeadership.com. The document is on the Free Stuff Page under the Workshops, etc. tab. Past issues of my blog are available under the Blog tab.

Success and Harmony to you.

Written by Scott Woodley | 05 August 2009

Easy Enlightenment

In the last issue, I mentioned that your emotions are a guide to how well you are aligned to the truth of who you are. Positive emotions indicate that you are closely aligned with your natural joy, love, creativity, and
well-being. Negative emotions indicate that you are out of alignment with these truths. When you desire something in your life, positive emotions such as expectation and excitement indicate that you are attracting that which you desire while negative emotions such as doubt or hopelessness indicate that you are focusing on and attracting the lack of what you desire. Here are a few simple powerful ways to align yourself with and create positive things and experiences in your life.

1) Wherever you are in any moment, find and choose thoughts that bring you a little better feeling. Most people allow themselves to be at the whim of whatever thoughts and feelings present themselves in the moment. Instead, you can consciously choose those thoughts (and actions) that bring a slightly better feeling in any moment. Use your good feeling as the guide for which thoughts to focus on. Good feelings indicate alignment with the truth. Bad feelings indicate that you are out of alignment with the natural harmony of Life. By finding better feeling thoughts in every moment, you gradually align yourself with more positive perspectives and raise your vibrational level to higher states of joy and enthusiasm. You choose your attitude and perspective in every moment. Do it consciously and constructively.

2) If you cannot shake a negative feeling, focus inside on the feeling, allowing it to be just as it is. Breathe in the negative feeling and then breathe out loving kindness, a wish for that part of you to feel better. Don't resist negative feelings. Instead, breathe them in and then breathe out compassion and a sincere desire for that part of you to feel better, the negative feelings will dissipate over time. This is an ancient healing practice called Tonglen.

3) Say, "Wouldn't it be nice if..." Then focus on all the great things you desire and tune into the good feeling as if you already have those things. This will create a positive resonance within you that will attract what you want more quickly and powerrfully. The more strongly you do this exercise, the better you will feel and the more quickly you will attract what you want.

4) Expect good things to come into your life. Imagine the day ahead, then the week, the month, and the year. Imagine things happening the way you would like them to be and then expect that they will happen. You can also do this with different segments of your day. For example before leaving for work, imagine a safe trip and the smooth flow of traffic. Before an important meeting, imagine it going well and creating win-win results. Whether or not you believe this will create those things for you, isn't it better to go to work or into a meeting with a positive attitude? Try this and see for yourself if things will actually go better for you when you take this approach.

5) Visualize your ideal self- Visualize who you are as your ideal self - the one who has released all of his/her baggage and is free and in joy. How does s/he breathe, move, hold him/her self? How does s/he use her voice? What perspective does s/he take on this situation. Then adopt those behaviors and perspectives as best you can in this moment for as long and possible. Ask, "What can I do now and today to take one step to becoming my ideal self?" Then do that one thing every day. Of course, if you want good things faster, imagine and act as your ideal self all the time until it becomes automatic, until it becomes the reality of your everyday life.

Good things come from cultivating positivity in your life every day. The attitudes and feeling-tone you generate is the reality you attract into your life. Adding negativity to negativity only creates more negativity. Fighting fire with fire only creates a bigger fire. Instead, add light to the darkness, fight fire with water. Let go of your painful thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors, and your innate positive feelings will naturally flow through you.

Feel free to contact me for more information on this topic. Also check out, "Ask and It is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Written by Scott Woodley | 29 July 2009

Your Emotional Guidance System

From early childhood, we are all exposed to negative messages about ourselves, others, and the world. If internalized and believed, these messages can turn into limiting beliefs that rob us of happiness and joy. These negative beliefs include, "I'm not good enough, I'm unloved, I'm inadequate, People are mean, I'm all alone in an uncaring universe, Life is hard, The world is unfriendly, etc." When these beliefs become our truths, we end up only seeing the evidence that supports them. People often spend their entire lives struggling to compensate for or overcome the painful feelings that these negative beliefs create.

Consider the possibility that our emotions are simply a guidance system that lets us know how closely we are aligned with the truth. From this perspective, our natural state is joy, happiness, creativity, and love.

From a practical daily standpoint, I know of three main ways to work when negative emotions arise. The first way is meditation. As we quiet our thoughts, we begin to diminish the grip that negative thinking and beliefs have on us and our natural joy and our well-being begins to flow spontaneously. In other words, if you put your hand over the end of a garden hose, the flow of water diminishes and pressure builds up with in the hose. When you release the resistance, the water spontaneously flows through the hose with ease. Similarly, when we release the resistance that negative thoughts and beliefs create by getting them out of the way, our natural joy flows through us.

The second main way to work with negative emotions is to change the beliefs that give rise to them. Although powerful, this can be difficult when the beliefs are deeply held truths in our subconscious mind. We usually don't question them because "that's just the way life is." Cognitive Behavior methods, The Work of Byron Katie, and other cognitive approaches have us question the validity of these thoughts: "Is that thought true? What other ways of looking at this situation could be true?, what's another perspective on this situation, etc." When we question old ways of looking at life and old stories that do not bring us happiness, and instead adopt more expansive perspectives, our mood lifts and we feel better.

A variation on this approach is given by the Abraham material which asks us to find a 'better feeling thought" in this moment. In this moment, what's a thought that would lead to a slightly better feeling? Once obtained, what's a better feeling thought now, and so on until your 'vibrational focus' is aligned with your desires, with your ideal life, which then manifests automatically.

The third main way to work with negative emotions is what I call 'body-based' methods including Guided imagery, Focusing, Tonglen, Chod, the Sedona Method, Peter Levine's trauma release, and deep breathing. The details of these methods will have to wait for another posting, but the gist of all of them is to create a space of awareness that allows the feelings to be just as they are. The allowing of them releases the resistance in the body and they unwind. It's like those Chinese finger puzzles where the harder you pull, the tighter they get around your fingers. When you relax into it, there is a letting go that brings freedom. In some of these methods, we look for the wisdom in the parts of us that are feeling badly so we can integrate it into the whole of who we are. In other methods, we breathe in the feeling and breathe out compassion or 'feed the demons'. These methods are good for healing deeply held resistance that lies beneath conscious awareness.

The above material is a huge topic that deserves an entire book. What I want you to take away from this message is the idea that negative feelings are not bad things to push away, but rather exquisite indicators that we are out of alignment with our natural joy, love, creativity, and well-being. The easiest way back home is to let the good feelings and choose the 'better feeling thoughts' that guide us back to our true joyful nature.

Whether or not you believe any of the above, if you practice this one thing consistently, you will find yourself feeling better and better, living in more and more joy each day. And, as your feeling vibration improves, you will attract more and more positive things into your life.

Feel free to contact me for more information on this topic.

Written by Scott Woodley | 22 July 2009

Instant Peace

It's no secret that the world is busier and noisier than it's ever been. It's almost impossible to go out in public without being constantly barraged with man-made sounds of all kinds - cars, machinery, talking, music, etc., (not to mention our incessant internal chatter). It's rare that we actually take the time or find a place to sit and enjoy the stillness or the sounds of nature. Research has amply demonstrated, however, that experiencing moments of peace and stillness are very good for one's health, happiness, and peace of mind. Instead of waiting or trying to find these rare moments and places, here's a way to have instant peace wherever you are.

Stop for a moment and listen to what's happening right now in your environment. Notice all the sounds ......and also notice the Silence out of which the sounds arise and into which all sounds eventually fade.... Notice the things, and also notice the space in which the things are contained. Notice that the sounds and the things are all temporary and impermanent. The silence and space are constant, eternal, and deeply peaceful. Now let the silence and space come to the foreground while the sounds and things fade into the background. Let yourself listen and feel deeper and deeper into the silence and the space. Let yourself ease into the silence more and more. There's no limit to how deeply you can sense into the silence and space of any moment. There is always peace here, no matter what's happening in the noisy particles. Let yourself enjoy the peace and stillness that always surround the forms of life.

If you do this often enough, you will realize that there is no lasting peace in the forms of life - the things or the thought forms, because their very nature is movement and change. True and lasting peace comes from rooting your attention in the silence and space of Now, and then allowing the forms to flow and change as they do.

As a wise man put it, " If you're looking for peace in the world, you'll never find it. But when you watch the world peacefully, you always have peace. I invite you to take a minute now, tune into the peace and silence of this moment, and watch the world more peacefully from this deeper perspective. Take a deep breath and then let go. Shh.... The peace you've been looking for is always right in front of you. If you cannot find it right here and now, where do you expect to find it?

Feel free to contact me for more information on this topic.

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